This trip is over. It ended when we got back to Heraklion. All we're on now is a two day ride to the airport. We're gliding in on residual energy. We're running out of euros, clean clothes, and patience.

For the first time I noticed the one Joe was wearing was cut much higher than the one I had on. I found this to be hilarious and Joe insisted that I had known the whole time and had purposefully given him the 'sexier' suit. I promise this is not the case. Pure luck of the draw.

We were too close to it to even get a sense of the shape of the plane. All I wanted was a sense of the shape. Nick made a joke about it not really being a plane but some garbage they put out there to fool the tourists. Not funny, Nick. That one hits a little too close to home.

There are no ferrets on Crete but there is something called a Least Weasel, which, as far as names go, is right up there with Pension George. I think the proper article to use when referring to a Least Weasel is 'the.' As in, "That's the Least Weasel of any weasel I've ever seen."

He pushed the button for English and only like, four words turned to English so Joe was like, fuck that, and walked over to the human-being kiosk and bought two tickets from him. Then we walked straight on to a bus that took us straight to the Palace of Knossos. Way to go Joe.

They played fast. They played slow. They played bright. They played heavy. It takes real talent to make a flute sound heavy. They were basically the Led Zeppelin of classical Greek instrumental music.

What are we doing? What are YOU doing. Don’t ask us questions like that. We’re wondering where your parents are, that’s what we’re doing.

Great, I though, we're gonna pay ten euro each to get stuffed onto this crowded dance floor. Turns out stuffed onto a dance floor is my preferred way to dance. I'm never sure what to do with my arms anyway so it's a relief to have them pinned to my body.

When she brought out our food, the waitress asked which one of us was Greek. This is the highest compliment a tourist can receive and I believe was earned purely on the strength of our food order.